c’est la vie

I live my life in auto-pilot
I wake up and it’s the same day
Motions are always the same,
Wake up, take a deep breath

and hold it.  Hold it all day

even though my lungs ache.
I feel like I am at the bottom of a ten-foot pool,
everything around me moves slowly;

Sound is distorted, my limbs feel heavy.

Oh god my lungs they hurt.

yes they hurt but it doesn’t compare

to the suffering that comes with sweet exhale.

I swim to the surface and god it feels so damn good

To fucking breathe but as I do

Tears brim my lower lids

Because life isn’t distorted anymore.

I feel everything.

Betrayal

Heartache

Longing

Everything I fight so hard to hold in during the day

Somehow escapes at night.

I just want to be numb.

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