I live my life in auto-pilot
I wake up and it’s the same day
Motions are always the same,
Wake up, take a deep breath
and hold it. Hold it all day
even though my lungs ache.
I feel like I am at the bottom of a ten-foot pool,
everything around me moves slowly;
Sound is distorted, my limbs feel heavy.
Oh god my lungs they hurt.
yes they hurt but it doesn’t compare
to the suffering that comes with sweet exhale.
I swim to the surface and god it feels so damn good
To fucking breathe but as I do
Tears brim my lower lids
Because life isn’t distorted anymore.
I feel everything.
Everything I fight so hard to hold in during the day
Somehow escapes at night.
I just want to be numb.