You never recognize the significance of a moment when it’s happening right in front of you. Within that moment, you’re just living life; unbeknownst to you, that split second in time could turn out to mean the world to you.
When I try to think of happier times, my mind always flashes to the same place on my timeline: 2 years ago. The cold night was a stark contrast against the warmth that I held in my hands: the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had in my life. The night was far from dismal, lights danced along the water of the lake before me. I look to my right and my best friend is on her phone; I glance to my left and my other best friend is talking, and I nod to acknowledge her even though I’m clearly out of it. My phone buzzes twice, I look down and it’s the man I love texting me even though it’s 2:55am in Indiana and he should be fast asleep. The park is closing but I still hear the rhythmic clicking of the mechanical rides. We didn’t go on any rides and usually I would have been disappointed but overall today had been a great day.
In that moment, I was content. I was with my two best friends, I was in love, I was ending my night at the happiest place on earth. Right now, in the present, if the devil told me I could sell my soul to go back in time to that moment I’d do it in a heartbeat. Present day, I can easily say that my life is a complete shit show. There are so many things I would do differently had I known who and what my future held. Unfortunately I have yet to receive an offer from Lucifer himself so instead I guess I’ll just sit in the dark, my face dimly lit by my computer screen and bathe in nostalgia while I wonder when I’ll ever feel that same contentment again.