Happiness in Self Destruction

I will only ever find happiness in my own self destruction.

My mom always told me that addictive personalities run in our family

She always warned me about the dangers of smoking

How she too fell victim to our genetic disease

“Don’t drink, you might not be able to stop”

But I drank anyway.

Lo and behold, I did not become an alcoholic.

but she never warned me that there are other types of compulsions

My poison is not a physical one

Not cigarettes, not vodka.

My addiction is an impulse

To make the worst possible decisions that

will lead to the death of me.

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