I will only ever find happiness in my own self destruction.
My mom always told me that addictive personalities run in our family
She always warned me about the dangers of smoking
How she too fell victim to our genetic disease
“Don’t drink, you might not be able to stop”
But I drank anyway.
Lo and behold, I did not become an alcoholic.
but she never warned me that there are other types of compulsions
My poison is not a physical one
Not cigarettes, not vodka.
My addiction is an impulse
To make the worst possible decisions that
will lead to the death of me.