October 19, 2016; 1:49am

The hardest part about spending time with someone, becoming accustomed to their distinct smell, how they fill the space beside you, is dealing with the emptiness when they are no longer a part of your life.  Remembering your smile, I can feel the corners of my own mouth stretching upward.  When you stood so close beside me, your green eyes peering into my own, I could feel the irregular contracting of my heart.

It was so hard to breathe.

I was frozen in place.

I thought you were going to kiss me.

You didn’t.

Maybe I misread the vibes or maybe you were just waiting for me to make the first move and lean in; whatever the reason may have been, the moment passed, and we continued walking.  I don’t live with regret, only what if’s.  What if you had kissed me?  What if I had kissed you?  Where would we be?  These questions that will never find answers consume my thoughts until I abandon all hope of a night of sound sleep, I give in and find myself typing at 1:49am to no one.

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